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I was emotionally upset...
As I sat looking out the picture window...
In that old house...
Going through too much...
Changes...
Confusion...
The world had fallen on my shoulders.
I loved him... yes...
And he was gone...
Who knows where...
And I was picking up my own pieces.
A time that should have been sweet
Was a time of overwhelming...
Of too many secrets...
Of too much shame...
Of too little concern for feelings...
Of abandonment.
I was emotionally overwhelmed.
The slightest thing would make me giggle...
And then quickly move to tears.
Places were opening in me...
And I was facing truths...
And facing my life...
All alone.
I went quickly into my bedroom...
Lest I make a scene
With my emotions...
And stood there taking deep breaths.
A presence stood at the door.
That beautiful presence...
So sweet...
So respectful...
So... certain.
And I heard...
"This was meant for two."
My eyes welled up...
But the tears did not roll down my cheek.
They totally filled my eyes...
Reminding me of the song
"Smoke Gets In Your Eyes."
And it calmed me.
It was then...
That I came to believe...
That I was having...
A "true love."
I had strength.
I went through changes
And faced my life...
My truths...
With strength.
What... is greater than shame?
True love.
What... is greater than ugly?
True love.
What... is understanding and forgiving?
True love.
This was something I had never known existed.
This was something...
Perhaps the only thing...
That could ever save my life...
True love.
I now believed in it.
And... I began a journey...
Through the golden land...
Of love...
Alone.
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