The Last Time

February 8, 2015




Looking out the window and across the bay
I watch the boats make their way...
I watch the captains guide their ships...
Over... and then up to the docks.

I wonder.
Are you there...?

For years...
I dressed myself in hope.
For years...
I questioned the postman...
For a letter...
For a sign...
For a... farewell...
From you.

I know the fate of sailors.
Sailors live on the edge of the world...
And in a moment...
Can be swept aside...
Over the edge...
Into the deep...
Where none can return
To any ship...
Or to any shore.

I've heard of the palm-treed isles...
Where dancing, innocent women
Bid you to come...
Bid you to come...
And... bid you to stay.
Who would return to this oil-stained beach...?
Who...

But... I looked for you...
First... as a woman who loved you...
And then... after years...
As a woman who cared for you...
Like a mother... would care...
And then... with no word... no sign...
I looked for you... for you...
That you would just come home...
And do it for... you.

Looking out the window...
No longer putting on my beautiful hope...
No longer dressing up... for a beating...
No longer dressing up... to be shamed...
No longer dressing up... for disappointment...
No longer dressing up... for hurt...
No longer dressing up... for tears...
I stand at my window...
And I whisper to the ships...
"This is the last time that I look...
This is the last time... that I watch.
Send love to wherever it is... that he be."





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