Something I Can't Have

1970's




I looked into the black window
Reflecting myself against the dark
Seeing specks of light beyond...
A mirage...
Visions of life...
Movement...
Blinking again and again...
Heedless of the life inside this room.

I wasn't in it...
The life going on in the dark...
I was only pressed against the pane
An image for myself
A ghost to one who might look my way.

No life in this room...
Stagnation...
I longed to venture out
But the darkness held me back
Closed in and blanketed me.
No one came.
What life there was beyond the window
Mocked me...
It was something I couldn't have...
Something... something...
The mirage made strange forms and shapes.

What was it in the night
That left me
Like an abandoned child
Forever circling life as it was...
Never to venture into life
As it could be?




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