A Piece of God

November 9, 2011




I had felt love before.
I wanted to love.
I knew I could love most any man...
And be a good wife to him.
I had much love to give...
But... I needed a man
Who would... love me.
I had been badly treated... too often...
And... I could not accept being mistreated.

I knew... me.
I knew... how life goes...
How people... think...
Where... I might... belong.
I had considered my happiness parameters...
And the happiness parameters for a man.
I figured it all out
Like a mathematical puzzle
That has only few theoretical solutions.

I went looking for love.
And... I found love... several times.

I always came to discover that...
Something was... missing...
Like... landing on a plateau
Where you felt the height
But... you couldn't... see the view.

I was a writer
Who wanted to write about life.
I wanted to express beauty and love.
I wanted to heal hearts
And make peace between us all.
I wanted to help the world understand
And to awaken to beautiful things.
But... I realized... that...
I had never really known... true love.
How could I ever be a writer...
And... not know... that...??

I needed to know real love...
And... I came to know...
That I couldn't settle for anything less.
To accept less... would be a lie.
And I hurt.
I needed to be sincerely loved.

Then... at one point... I just gave up.
I decided that... finding a good man
Would be... all I could hope for.
If I could just... find a good man...
I would love him...
And be happy... for that much.

My life had turned crazy.
One man who I had met and really liked...
Had dumped me offhand.
One former boyfriend attacked me.
Another showed up
Like a boy at a whorehouse
Ready for courting.
Another sat... watching... waiting...

And another came...
And wrangled himself into my heart.
I felt attracted to him...
But I felt caution... and fear... and foreboding.
He took too much...
And created only havoc of my emotions.

None of it was... good.

And... in my frantic confusion...
I stepped into my room
To get hold of myself
And... I felt a love come over me.
It came when I was alone...
Standing... crying in my room...
When no one else was there.

It was... like a piece of God...
Like a gift...
Like a crystal piece of truth and love...
Coming out of nowhere.
And in the hard days that came on me
It gave me strength
To face all things.
And... it began to teach me...
About love... life... human beings...
It taught me about the salvation of the human soul.

To know true love...
Fills the soul so completely
That even death no longer is empty...
Is no longer a cause for tears.

Holding my beautiful gift...
Holding that "piece of God"...
I had more life...
More wisdom...
More truth...
In just one moment of adoring it
Than most will know in a lifetime.

I came to realize...
That... to know TRUE PURE love...
Holds more life in it...
Than could ever be filled
With a lifetime of... not knowing.
It IS... life.
It IS... the only truth.
It IS... worth seeking.
And to have known it...
Just to have known it exists...
Is to have had... it ALL.




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